Temper Temper! Every ones got one and the only difference is that some adults are better at controlling them and not act into it. But violence in child is usually a result of biological and Psychological factors especially the ones that lead to social and emotional struggle.
We have often seen that children who do not have a constant companionship and where parents or single parents are working multiple jobs to scrape through life, tend to get exposed unwanted or illicit company that mould their behavior as growing up.
For instance, if a child growing up does not have the right guidance and presence to channel its thoughts and energy, they get attracted to gang activities which further make them notorious in life and susceptible to violence.
So how to deal with a violent child. Below are some of the best practices to help you deal with a violent child:
Give Your child Attention: One of the vital ingredients in dealing with a violent child is to give them attention. Always be there during their ups and downs. If your child has won a medal in school, be there to celebrate. If he has lost on a competition be there to help him cope and advise him on better preparation.
As study has also pointed out the negative effects of solitary confinement and in real world neglecting them of any interaction or presence.
Also checkout : 7 easy ways to teach kids “Nunchi”
Help your child develop a conscience: By staying in sync with you child to understand how he/she is feeling, behaving cordially and friendly in front of them (non violent behavior) and taking responsibilities for your actions are some of the things that can be taught to your child by exemplifying them in front of them.
The child will learn more as he sees these behaviors around him rather then plan theory. Such positive behaviors are also easy to remember as the child grows up.
Calming the child : The rule of demonstration stays the same. Exhibit qualities of handling problems with calmness and resilience. Explain to the child about the problem that you are dealing with and even though it is a difficult situation , you have learnt to keep calm as you resolve the situation.
If you see your child getting infuriated, teach them to count to 20 and learn to do some deep breathing to thing clearly. This will help them rationalize their actions and not act in fury.
Controlling anger through talking : Encourage your child to express their feelings and thoughts in calm verbal exchange. This needs to be prompted by you where you ask the child to explain the feelings and the anger. There can be situations where the child does not want to open up with you. In such cases do not force your child. Instead, have them talk to a pet or an imaginary friend.
Be sure to appreciate the behavior.
Explain toughness : This is prevalent is households where the older child is the boy. Often when boys are asked to be tough, they misunderstood that to be aggressive and kick and hit their opponent or punch their way through difficult situations.
Explain to them what real toughness means in face of adversity. Give them examples where you stepped up to deal with a difficult situation without using violence and that real toughness lies in not losing your temper through the ordeal.
Avoid tough punishment : Also called lead by example in some parts, when you demonstrate measured acts of punishment instead of harsh ones, your child will resonate with it. Disciplining your child for violence, with a not sou harsh punishment can cause positive effects where the child learns to own up for his actions but not to an extent to hold a grudge against you or even resentment.
All this while make sure you are not angry yourself and the child sees it.
Also Checkout : 201 Great Riddles for Kids!
How to deal with a violent child in school
So how to deal with angry child in school where he or she is surrounded by fellow students, who can only make situations more complex. The key is to make the child understand that you care for them and deal the situation in a one to one set up.
- Show genuine concern and bonding with the child so the child can feel that you are getting effected by their violent behavior in class.
- Focus on positives even in dire situations so the child understands the potential. In time the violence will diminish.
- Provide the child with opportunities to exhibit leadership and that you trust them as a leader.
- Leadership also brings ownership forth. The child will understand that being a leader means to be responsible for your actions and inappropriate behavior means a bad leader.
- All the through the process of dealing with violent child in school remain firm and avoid being overly tough. this can be contradictory to the goal we are trying to achieve. If a child is an angry state, give the child time to calm down before engaging in conversation.
- Severe misbehavior must be handled with care by involving parents at the earliest. However, resist the urge to offer opinions or conclusions. Just give the facts to the parents as it happened and let them do their job.
Mostly , its been discovered that teachers get on the back foot because their sense of compassion overshadows their sense of discipline. Which is the right thing to an extent but if it starts hurting the students ability to make the correct decisions, the teacher needs to stop.
As a teacher one cannot go on making excuses for a student’s bad behavior. A good teacher should always understand the root for such behavior and be compassionate to any unfortunate situation. Use correct incentives and note of praise to motivate the student towards the right path.
Also check out : How to put a toddler to sleep fast
How to deal with a violent child at home
Back in 2015, a major study into adolescent (aged over 16) to parent violence revealed that about 87 percent of all perpetrators were males.
Its has also been revealed by the Met Police figures that child to parent violence has increased 95% from 920 in 2012 to 1,801 in 2016.
At home, strict control on media that exhibits violence and glamorizes illicit activities that could have psychological effect on a child’s brain should be put under control. Creating a culture of non violence at home promotes kids to behave in a similar manner and resolve conflict by other means of discussions and thought.
Being an effective role model for your child goes a long way. Any incidents of domestic abuse or constant tussle and yelling match between adults can leave an impression on the child and cause him to be violent at home.
A child will watch the adults around all day and will take on certain habits unknowingly as younger mind mimics all the adult actions.
In some instances parents get into physical violence with child at home and it need not be mentioned that a child who is treated violently growing up will be a violent adult.
In come cases if the situation i snot coming under control outside help of a family member or a therapist should be sought.
To deal with violent child at home, parents should understand that if they hit their child it is still against the law. Also parents will be blamed for the child’s bad behavior even if the child has a history of violence.
How to deal with a violent child with Autism
There are various strategies and work around that as parent you can use to deal with violent child with autism. An autistic child can be aggressive because:
- Oversensitive to environment factors like loud noise or bright light
- Escapism from stressful situations
- Inability understand or comprehend simple situations
- Ill treatment by peers in some cases
Here are the standard operating procedures when dealing with a violent child with autism:
- Visual re-directions :Usage of hand gestures and other non verbal techniques to gain the autistic child’s attention and then conveying messages to move or perform a simple task is a powerful way to deal with a violent child with autism.
- Its vital as a parent to keep your own emotion under check while dealing with a violent child with autism. It will take practice and there will be instances when your patience runs out. Buts its imperative to remain calm and take deep breaths to let go of the frustration.
- When dealing with a violent child with autism, there will be cases when physical harm can be exhibited by the child. Safety of the people or siblings in the surrounding areas needs to be considered and to contain the child in a secured area.
- Avoid making straight eye contact and instead block their path with a chair or any furniture if they tend to run away or move into a different are which has more people. Keep the autistic child in your view but do not engage aggressively.
- Ignoring the autistic child in cases when he is teasing or attacking others is also an effective strategy. This give them nonverbal indication to move away or calm down without being in their face and confrontational.
Also check out