You try and escape the impending reality that you as a father will face, but the odds are always stacked against you. And as your daughter grows up into a young lady of substance, there will be a boy who will come calling.
As much as we as father want to delay your daughter’s dating till they are 30, the reality is we cannot lock them up in their rooms.
Its almost like Deja vu, when we were in the same process of wooing a girl and the tricks we would play to get her to talk to you. As these thoughts race in your mind, its always a good idea to document clearly some rules that your daughter also needs to understand when it comes to dating.
Respect My Daughter
In all the forms and meanings, this is the basic requirement for the boy who seeks to date my daughter to literally excel in. Respect is the basic building block of any relationship and in dating someone, it becomes even more critical.
A respectful relationship is also easy to navigate when things go awry. And at this age when hormones are shooting across, its always a great framework to follow.
As we instill values and integrity in our daughters, they grow up to be a unique individual based on their experiences and choices. In other words, what this means is that there will be some quirky and weird things about her, which makes her personality unique.
If there is mutual acceptance in a relationship, that opens up further doors to understanding each other and grow together.
This will reflect on how well the boy has been raised. Does he understand the concept of acting mannerly and showing respect.
For instance, If the boy pulls into the driveway and honk he better be delivering a package because he is not picking anyone up, let alone dating my daughter. Instead, step out of the car and reach the door.
Basic traits like opening the door, leaving my daughter to the door etc are some of the other acts that reveal manners.
I understand fashion is subjective and there is always anew style that pops up every week. However, that being said, one thing that evergreen and never get sold is to dress appropriately when visiting.
For instance, please don’t bother showing up with baggy trousers which reveal your underwear. Learn the basics of how gentleman dress up first before thinking of dating my daughter.
Excessive PDA is never a good idea especially when its the initial stages and you two are still getting to know each other. This also stretches to when not in public. Keep the cuddles and kisses to the minimum.
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I will expect for the boy to understand what a curfew is and what happens when a curfew is not obeyed. There will be a set of eyes watching the boy wherever he goes and finding you would be easy.
Lets just say the boy does not want to disobey the curfew timings even if its the end of the world.
Do Not Lie
Dating my daughter cannot involve lying. Lets just say, I hate liars and the only thing a lie points to is malice in the heart. That is a straight red flag for me.
If I ask the boy where are you taking my daughter, he will have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and few acres of farmland. Get the idea?
Don’t hide and lie about anything to my daughter. I will be there to monitor the situation but it will be in you good safety to not hide any dark skeletons for me to find out.
If there’s something that you know may be a deal breaker for her, don’t waste her time by dating her for weeks and months before telling her. I’ll give you one example: if you’re dating other people or “dating around”, let her know at once.
There will be no alcohol in case the boy wants to take my daughter to a date, Most likely there will be driving involved and it just shows you in poor light of making a sound judgment.
This also links to my daughter’s safety, which is beyond compromise.
Keep Your Hands To Yourself
The boy needs to keep his hands to himself, if he wants to keep them functional for the rest of his life.
This will ensure you get to know her as a person and the substance behind that person.
At The Door
This links to the already listed point about manners. The best practice is to drop her at the door and make sure she gets inside alright.
Chivalry is a dying practice but holds a ton of importance for me. Its better for the boy to read up on chivalry and start practicing so it comes naturally.
Do Not Hurt Her
The boy should be really afraid if he thinks he can hurt my daughter and get away with it.
If I see my daughter crying after the date or something related to the boy, things will get messy really fast.
Best to avoid doing anything that will hurt my daughter.
Dont Scam Her
What I mean is, if the boy is dating my daughter, he is not dating anyone else.
I will be following all of my daughters’ social media accounts and consistently check in to see what’s happening on her timelines with her friends.
If I see or read anything about the boy cheating or “seeing” someone else, he should not expect to ever come back in my home or near my daughter.
Date Appropriate Venue
Places which are dark or have too much privacy are a strict no.
Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka – zipped up to her throat!
If there is a movie on the cards, it better be of a non sexual theme and subject.
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