ideal husband

9 Best Ways to be the Ideal husband

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Marriage is a wonderful experience and something that one can cherish all their life, especially if the husbands try and be an “Ideal husband”

And I am not talking about the ones you see on TV , where everything seems great and they paint a great picture. I am talking about real marriages where there needs to be an equal responsibility of both the individuals to work towards bettering the relationship.

Ideal hubsand

In more than a few cases, the focus always comes on husbands and what makes them a ideal or a poor husband. The qualities of greatness can be several and pretty much the whole collection of positive sounding characteristics can be listed here. And they will be relevant.

But we are listing the three underlying pillars from which further qualities sprout:

1. Humility:
“A Great man is always willing to be little” – Ralph Emerson
A humble husband is the one who understands his real statue in the house or in the society but is always looking forward to listen and learn from others. He is patient enough to deal with a sticky situation and always keeps the other’s perspective in his mind while reacting to situations.

This also means that when he makes a mistake, he is the first one to admit and apologize for it and is ready to make amends. He understands other individuals who are more seasoned in some matters and is he does not allow his ego to cloud his judgment. Due to this humility, there is always close bonding between the couple which again becomes the foundation to deal with challenges of life.

2. Trustworthy:
“We trust strangers not because they are always trustworthy but because we want to believe in a world where they are.” – David Amerland
Of all the virtues we as humans possess, trusting someone is the most commonly found across any demographic, sex or age.
A good husband will always keep the trust that he has with his wife as priority 1 and will treat the rest as secondary. He will always make sure that nothing is withheld or kept as a secret that can later jeopardize their marriage or cause a rift between them.

A trustworthy man doesn’t hide, withdraw, isolate, or keeps secrets from his wife. If you want to become an ideal husband to your wife, be trustworthy: choose disclosure over deception; heart honesty over hurt feelings; and sharing over secrecy.

3. Be a Gentleman:
“A gentleman would be ashamed should his deeds not match his words” – Confucius
Remember those 70s and 80s romantic movies where there was extra cheese conversation between a couple talking about all the simpler things about their relation and life, wives dig that. At least most of them.
So, these manners can include:

  • Kiss her hello and goodbye.
  • Take her heavy shopping bags for her.
  • Open doors for her.

This also includes general shower of tender, love and care (TLC) all through your life together and not only on special occasions.

4. Adjusting :
“Marriage is the union of two ‘I’s to form a ‘V’. Both ‘I’s have to tilt equally to make a good ‘V’. ‘I’s standing tall can never make a ‘V’.” – Ashok Kallarakkal
A marriage changes over time and the similarly the dynamics between a husband and wife when they got married and when they have kids also changes.

Similarly, this also means that you as a couple, you have more to do and sticking to how things were before, will not work. Discussing about how to balance and actively contribute is the key. this involves taking up chores and tasks which are not in the comfort zone or doe snot come naturally. Even men can operate a washing machine or cook or vacuum. Be willing to be flexible and pro active.

5. Space :
“Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.” 
– Khalil Gibran
Space is crucial in a relationship and being too clingy all the time can kill the flame between a couple. Having a life of your own with its challenges and triumphs and sharing that with your better half at the end of the day is what sustains relationships.

Also staying apart ignites that sexual tension which pulls each other closer and makes the other person irresistible. giving space to your partner also does not mean to cut off all ties and vanish from other person’s life. Instead staying connected through the distance and building moments of rekindle is the key here.

6. Communication :
“Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky
An ideal husband is a great communicator both verbal and non verbal.

This is a key requirement for any marriage to work. Through ups and downs of life, periods of distance and closeness, if there is one thing that binds two people, its their ability to communicate their feelings and thoughts.

In a normal married life, couples only get few minutes to really speak with each other and listen to each other. One should make a constant effort to find pockets of time in a busy day to make this happen. This threat to marriage is something that can be easily fixed with some conscious effort.

7. Supportive:
“When you have wit of your own, it’s a pleasure to credit other people for theirs.” – Criss Jami
One of the ways to be an ideal husband is to be supportive of your spouse.

We all are different human beings and likewise we all have or like, dislikes, passions, strength and weaknesses. This means that you indulge and participate in activities and endevours which you have no interest in or have never thought of. This also mens to encourage and support your wife to achieve her goal and be passionate about it, so she is able to draw her strength from you.

8. Team Player :
“Team performance is directly proportional to team stability. Focus on building and maintaining a stable team. Stability reduces friction and increases credibility and confidence.” – Salil Jha
An ideal husband never treats his marriage as a competition and a race to out do his wife or partner. Instead, he supports and motivates her to achieve greater heights and goals that his wife will be proud of.

This mentality also helps you discover more about your wife as well as yourselves. Unknowingly, there will be common goals set up where both the husband and wife can work towards and lay the foundation of a strong marriage.

9. Loving :
“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.” – Maya Angelou
What completes an Ideal husband is the fact that he can love his wife unconditionally. Its the string that brings together all the other attributes and ties the husband and wife in an everlasting relationship which is full of love and care.